Posts Tagged ‘dealing with grief’

Moving Forward

October 10, 2015
Another week has flown by.  So many details to take care of.  Another Doctor’s appointment, talking with my pharmacist representative and setting up appointments for next week.  One of my Doctor’s put me back on Gabapentin.  I was on it before for the neuropathy pain in my feet and legs.  It did not help but they want me to try it again.  She felt I wasn’t taking enough of it.  So I start out with 300mg this week and if it is not working, I double the dose the next week.  She believes it will help me to sleep better as well.  I haven’t been sleeping much since Mom passed.

The last week of Mom’s life, I would lay on the bed near her.  I didn’t want her to pass while I was asleep, so I would wake up every little bit and turn over and see if she was still breathing.  I slept with a small light on.  Sometimes, I couldn’t see her chest move up and down so I would sit up until I could see her chest move.  I prayed that God would not let her pass while I was asleep.  I still find myself waking up and looking to see if she is still breathing.

In my prayer time, Monday, a scripture was brought to my remembrance.  Romans 8:28  “And we know that ALL things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.”

I started researching this scripture and asked myself what was meant by “the called?”  In Romans 1:7 the word says that we are called to be “holy people”.  In this present age, how many people feel like they are suppose to be holy?  You certainly can’t find too many on TV that have been called to be holy.   On my FB page, there are lots of people who don’t even bother to filter their language.  I don’t usually let it bother me.  I just hide the remark and keep scrolling.  TV channels are the same.  Keep clicking til something comes on (usually old) that I can watch.  I guess I am not too concerned with what other people are doing.  I’m more concerned about what I am doing??

In 1 Peter 1:13-16, Peter writes to believers, “Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.'” Peter is quoting from Leviticus 11:44 and Leviticus 19:2.

This seems like a tall order.   Be holy in all your behavior.  Surely Peter didn’t mean that for today, yet I think he did.

Romans 11:29 says that “His call is irrevocable.”  The dictionary says that the word irrevocable means,  “not able to be changed, reversed, or recovered; final.”  In simple terms, once you have been called then it is final.   There is no going back.

These thoughts brought me peace and have come back to me this week over and over.  There was a statement in my journal this week.

“Each sunrise is a reminder that Jesus Christ brings us out of darkness and fills our lives with Hs glorious light.”  I looked this up on the internet to see where this came from.  I found many scriptures which indicated that Christ is the light.   In this I am most confident.

I pray you have a wonderful weekend.

Lifestyle Changes and Dealing with Grief

October 5, 2015

Since losing Mom on August 17, 2015, I have spent the last 6 weeks or so, dealing with grief,  Almost every morning I get up and think about what I am going to do for Mom today only to catch myself and remember that Mom is not here any more, at least, in her physical form.  It hurts my heart.

I made a few new beginnings.  I have gone to my Doctor and am dealing with my blood sugars which are too high.  I pay attention to my insulin and sugar readings.  I am paying close attention to what I am eating and drinking.

No more  drinking the wrong things.  Nothing  but lemon water, and hot tea now.  Eating NO sugar, No white potatoes, limiting carbs and replacing with vegetables.  That’s my new lifestyle. I am eating No pork or gluten either.

My blood sugars have come down some but not enough.  The doctors have had me increase insulin (Lantus) but my sugars are still high.  My fasting Blood Sugar this morning is 182.

On the positive side, I have lost 11 pounds since September 2nd.  I imagine most of that weight is water weight but I will still take it.  The nutritionist is going to call me this week and we will probably discuss portion sizes and see why I am not losing more.  I know I need to incorporate more exercise into my lifestyle changes.  Something I intend to do soon.

My nephew writes a blog, Dream Big, Dream Often http://dreambigdreamoften.co/2015/06/27/habits-of-successful-people/.  In this blog, he mentioned getting up early and making his bed.  It helped him to get the day started on the right foot.   I realized that I needed to start this habit.  When I was taking care of Mom, I just was not making my bed.   That has changed.  I get up and make my bed now.

I also make sure I take my medicine.   I had been putting myself on the last item on my to do list.  Trying to change that isn’t easy.  New habits are hard to form.    Here is a good article on the time it takes to form new habits if you are interested.  http://www.bustle.com/articles/58195-how-long-does-it-take-to-develop-a-new-habit-66-days-says-science-or-debunking

Dealing with grief is a difficult process.  One day at a time.

Blessings to you.


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