Failure is a word that I am all too familiar with. A word that seems to control several areas of my life. At times my life seem to spiral out of control. We all want to control our lives rather than have negative circumstances control us. At one time or the other we find that some aspect of life, our love life, health, spiritual issues seem to be out of whack and leading lives of their own. When do we say enough and start to regain control?

Over the past decade or longer, I have suffered from tremendous pain in my feet and legs which has come from neuropathy. My feet feel like they are on fire. They feel as though they are numb, frozen and my toes ache. Walking has become so difficult that getting to my feet is an ordeal. It feels like I am walking on thousands of glass tips that are cutting into my flesh.There are many causes for neuropathy. Diabetes is one of the most common causes. I was diagnosed with this over 10 years ago. It has been hard for me to understand that the numbness and loss of sensation causes so much pain. The damage is often due to high blood sugar levels. The risk for neuropathy increases for diabetics who are overweight, have high blood pressure, or are over the age of 40. Sadly, I have all these conditions. My peripheral nervous system which connects the nerves from the brain and spinal cord (central nervous system) to the rest of my body is not working properly.

Some of the symptoms that I deal with on a daily basis are

  • tingling in feet and sometimes hands
  • a feeling like there is a glove or sock covering my feet
  • sharp, stabbing pains that cut with such force that you can’t help but wince
  • numbness in hands or feet – lack of feeling
  • weak, heavy-feeling arms and legs (sometimes it may feel like your legs or arms “lock” in place)
  • regularly dropping things from your hands
  • a tightness or swelling
  • thinning of the skin
  • a sudden drop in blood pressure for no reason that may put you to bed
  • emotional issues that come from dealing with constant pain
  • digestion difficulties
  • and the list goes on and on.

I have dealt with these issues so long that frustration has become part of my life. I meet with success for a little while only to succumb to the pain and find myself unable to stay ahead of this life robbing disease. And the thought that I should somehow be able to control all of this leads to feelings of frustration and failure.

Most often peripheral neuropathy can only be managed, not cured. Unfortunately, nothing I have tried thus far has been much help in managing the pain. I have tried various pain medications and treatments.

I recently read a blog written by my nephew which has inspired me to once again try to gain more control over this area of my life by setting goals. To start, I know that I need to lose weight. I have been on a million and one diets and none seem to work long-term. So while I have failed repeatedly in this area, tomorrow, I will start again.

The one positive in my life is an unwavering “faith” not in myself but in my God. I believe in Jesus and I believe that He is more than able to help me.

So tomorrow, I start my journey to be an over comer… Join me, if you will, on this journey.



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