I did very little research before I made up my mind to blog. I checked out a few sites on beginning blogging, read a few articles and jumped in with both feet.  Since I did not know how to get started I chose to host my blogs.  There are other sites but this was the first and only one I really went to.    I am sure that I will make a lot of mistakes but who really cares?  I will still achieve something. 

Which leads me to my next thought.  Why blog at all?  My reasons are simple.  Since becoming disabled, I have very little contact with anyone other than immediate family.  A lot of this is by choice.  I just don’t feel well enough to be to involved with people and I can’t do the things I once did.  Things such as work, activities at Church, hobbies, going out to dinner with friends, even having telephone conversations, etc., all require too much energy and effort.  I have talked with other people who have disabilities and they all seem to say the same thing.  Our lifestyles change and change drastically in some cases.  In my case, I let these things go gradually, over time, as my conditions worsened.  Truthfully, I miss them.  These activities helped define who I was and now it seems that my condition defines who I am.  In fact, I am not even sure that I will be able to keep this up but I want to try.

Secondly, I joined Face Book, MySpace  and Twitter to get outside of my own existence and health issues.  I wanted to stay connected and/or reconnect with family and friends.  I have found that these are great outlets for social networking but do not provide me with a forum in which I have enough space to say anything  of value.  I love it because it gets me outside myself and I feel like I am socializing and keeping up with people.  Friends write blurps about health care, politics, current issues but the forum just doesn’t seem right for me to engage in these conversations.  There just isn’t enough room if you wish to discuss the pros and cons of their position and besides that is not why I joined those networks.  I have found myself, recently, wanting to reply with another viewpoint but there is not enough room to discuss the issues.

I just decided that I have some things to say and other people might be interested in hearing what I have to say. In any case, at the very least, it gives me a place to vent (let out my thoughts) without having to defend them.  Many times, because of the meds I take, I can’t form my thoughts fast enough or focus well enough to defend my views or feelings, if challenged.  I have to have time to think about it and try to recall facts that have gone out of my mind.  Besides, I am more interested in speaking my heart instead of my head. 

So that is why I am here writing my first blog.  I don’t want to drop in and say hello or make a comment.  I want to have a discussion with myself and with you.  I want to focus my thoughts.  This afternoon, there was too much going on and I found myself so frustrated because I couldn’t handle everything coming at me.  I felt like throwing my hands up in defeat, bursting into tears and fleaing to my room.  I did eventually flea to my room.  Being disabled has left me with very few things that I can control.  Maybe, just maybe, I can control this blog and by doing so, it will give me some feelings of achievements.  Maybe, I will feel like I have accomplished something.  Maybe I will get back some measure of control over some aspect of my life. 

I will let you know in my upcoming blogs.   I want to learn as much about you as you will learn about me.   Stay tuned, there is more to come.  I will be looking for your comments.


2 Responses to “MY FIRST BLOG”

  1. dorharbin Says:

    What a great first blog! Your writing is always so positive and inspiring(not that it has to be for me to relate or enjoy-it just always ends up that way). But it also paints a very real look inside the heart, mind and existence of someone with a disability who is struggling to overcome the daily obstacles. I know a lot of people could relate to this. You have something to say and I hope you will continue. Looking forward to your next installment.

    • sharpshooter77 Says:

      Thanks for the positive comment. I need the encouragement. However, today I am feeling very negative and in a lot of pain. Maybe I can still keep today’s blog positive.

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